Trying….to sit on Marina Abramović’s knee

Just over a year ago something happened in an interview that had never happened before. My guest was the Serbian conceptual and performance artist Marina Abramović, globally known for pushing the boundaries, (please do look her work up - you are in for a unforgettable audio visual feast) so perhaps an unexpected action shouldn’t have surprised me.

It happened when our conversation for Woman’s Hour was finished and we had a photo together. So far, so normal. But then she asked/advised me to sit on her knee for the shot. Dead pan - with no clue of a joke - she was serious. 

I had no idea how to respond. With other people and certainly a man, it would have seemed like some odd or creepy power play. But from a woman who has walked the Great Wall of China to meet her lover; screamed repeatedly into camera lenses and wordlessly sat across a table from thousands of strangers never breaking eye contact, it seemed more of an artistic idea; a creative direction. So you know what? I did it. The evidence is here.

And as a then 38 year old and she 76 year old - it felt cool, comforting and counter cultural. Quite bad ass. She is a woman always thinking about how things look and make you feel and I felt like I had briefly joined the performance. Starring in my own 30 second Marina Abramović piece. 

I hadn’t sat on anyone other than my husband’s knee, in years. Decades even. Indeed, I have become the knee to sit upon now we have children.

So having become the parent, and only just returned from maternity leave, I think I was doubly drawn to the chance to subvert the roles in my life. 

Our full chat is here and no punches were pulled. Check it out if you can.

I was also exhilarated by having just seen her exhibition at the Royal Academy where I had walked between two naked people forming a tight-knit doorway. And done my level best to maintain eye contact as the man and woman’s body parts brushed against my dress.

My mind was taken back to that moment as I hosted a conversation last week back at the Royal Academy about women and creativity. On stage I was interviewing the author and founder of Women’s Prize For Fiction - Kate Mosse and the sculptor Ann Christopher. Right at the end of our exchange, they let us into that magical moment where for Ann, the material she is sculpting actually tells her what to do next. That is how she gets a piece over the line. And sometimes it tells her to do things she doesn’t agree with - but she submits and it works.

And Kate, known for creating historically accurate backdrops to her novels, shared that she then waits for her fictional characters to arrive. And then they do.

It was magical peep into how creativity actually happens for two highly experienced and successful creators in their respective fields. But what they both had in common - was letting go and going with it. Trusting the way. That if you build, it will happen. The characters do show up. The sculpture appears. 

Neither of them sat on my knee or me theirs. But I think upon reflection, re-emerging out of IVF, pregnancy, loss, birth and maternity leave, me agreeing to potentially feel and look a bit daft on Marina’s knee, was the first of many examples of me trying to return to that youthful mode of just letting go, being simultaneously more vulnerable and confident, taking a risk and following the magic.

It’s not always possible. But I wanted to share this tale with you.