Thank you for bringing humanity to broadcasting and writing. You have already changed the Today programme by introducing real honest topics which impact on so many people's lives. What a breath of fresh air. Thanks Emma.
I have to admire your courage in managing such debilitating health conditions while maintaining such a demanding career. You’re an inspiration to me and I’m sure many others.
I have told many people in recent years how much I admire you, and how grateful I am to you, for sharing your IVF journey before you had a “positive” outcome. When going through infertility and IVF myself, I found it so difficult that every story of the tough times ended with “I now have my family”. It was brave and generous of you to be open during the tough times, and I’m so glad we have you at the heart of British journalism. I’m looking forward to reading your book, and hope that your new treatment path is effective.
Well said. When, and if, anyone decides to share extremely painful and difficult health situations is entirely personal. Sometimes you need to put all your efforts into getting healthy and then recovering physically and emotionally from whatever you've been through. Sometimes people want to talk about what's happening at the time. That might be part of the pain management. Making it real, trying to pixilate it in order to survive it. Other people should just listen and support those who want or need to share their health journeys. You might learn something, empathise or feel relief that's it "not just you".
Your piece on trying for your second child still resonates with me to this day. It was such a lifeline when so much of the rhetoric was looking back once the box was ticked. I am so grateful for your honesty and your words reach further than you will ever know.
Dear Emma, your words"Articulation in the moment of how life feels" resonate and youre 100% right that it's healthy to do this when, well we are healthy enough to do it right? I am so sorry to hear you're battling pain and hope your new course of treatment come through sooner and better than expected.
Also no one owes anyone else their bad times and experiences. Men aren’t expected to so why are women? We’re so accustomed to women mining their own lives for content that when something is held back, is private for all sorts of reasons, we’re almost affronted that we don’t know it about them.
Maybe live is for living when times are shit and not everything needs to be documented or shared. In the words of Michaela Coel
“Visibility these days seems to somehow equate to success. Do not be afraid to disappear—from it, from us—for a while, and see what comes to you in the silence.”
Really interesting piece Emma. It’s such a personal choice and the people that criticise Miranda Hart display an incredible lack of empathy. And it feels like another example of finding fault for the sake of it. As someone who has been through something profoundly life changing this last year, I’ve found writing a great therapy but for myself first and foremost. I considered publishing it live however I was too emotionally overwhelmed to have made myself vulnerable to the comments. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to scream to everyone who’d listen, “These awful things are happening to me!” However I also started to find that themes appeared along the journey that I needed time to make sense of. I feel in future using my uncensored journals I could write something more profoundly useful for readers who find themselves in my position. I recognise we need live stories to support each other as we go through hard things and actually there’s quite a lot of great forums for those ‘living it’ (whatever your personal ‘it’ is). However trauma voyeurs disappointed they won’t get their daily fix of me sobbing into my breakfast for two months straight can jog on and take their criticism with them. Apart from great support forums, people like Miranda who share their ‘stories so far’ offer us a generous gift when, like me last year, we genuinely can’t see a light at the end of the long tunnel of misery. Their stories allowed me to hope that there was some light, even as things kept getting darker.
I do so agree. When we’re feeling really rough, for whatever reason, often it’s enough to get through the day. Not many have the energy or the clarity of mind to be able to express what it’s like till later.
It’s so important to write and speak about experiences as you go through them (if you can). I think there’s a sort of unintentional/misplaced shame attached to speaking about situations that have no positive outcome or desired resolution, but personally I have found it very helpful. I signed up for your newsletter pre-IVF, I’m now 2x rounds in with no success but we keep going, keep chugging away with the hope that one day we will.
So brave of you to go through all that and then to put it out there. I wrote a memoir about my marriage and my husbands gambling addiction and the impact it had on our lives. To some degree it still does. Whilst being cathartic it was equally gut wrenching. I would have found writing in real time difficult . May this year be kinder to you despite the difficulties x
.whatever the it is it can be a case of just getting through. Having been through stuff, 3 kids, trauma, chronic illness, scary health stuff. I just had to cover the basics, let alone have the where wirhall to reflect on it!
Thank you for writing this Emma. You give a voice to many, many women who struggle with conceiving, IVF, endometriosis and having to get up too bloody early in the morning to get everything done!
We should be kinder to those who choose to keep their struggle a secret OR shout them from the rooftops. We never know what is around the corner and when we may we’ll need encouragement and support from friends, family and strangers. Good luck to you and others who are seeking help for debilitating medical conditions or who are already feeling the pressure of Dry January!
This is such a good point. I’ve been skirting around sharing my writing about a health issue because I didn’t want it to define me. There’s that too. It feels like it could be limiting in some way and I dread pity almost as much as I dread unsolicited advice.
However, it was really really interesting to read your take on it and it may spur me on! Thank you for sharing.
I love Miranda's book, it has so many brilliant tips and pieces of advice in it. The one that I refer to every day is 'how you do one thing is how you do everything '. If I feel myself getting wound up or anxious about anything, it reminds me that I don't want to be in Miranda's words 'an angry marching woman!'
Thank you for bringing humanity to broadcasting and writing. You have already changed the Today programme by introducing real honest topics which impact on so many people's lives. What a breath of fresh air. Thanks Emma.
that is very, very kind - thank you for reading and engaging
I have to admire your courage in managing such debilitating health conditions while maintaining such a demanding career. You’re an inspiration to me and I’m sure many others.
how kind and lovely of you
I have told many people in recent years how much I admire you, and how grateful I am to you, for sharing your IVF journey before you had a “positive” outcome. When going through infertility and IVF myself, I found it so difficult that every story of the tough times ended with “I now have my family”. It was brave and generous of you to be open during the tough times, and I’m so glad we have you at the heart of British journalism. I’m looking forward to reading your book, and hope that your new treatment path is effective.
Well said. When, and if, anyone decides to share extremely painful and difficult health situations is entirely personal. Sometimes you need to put all your efforts into getting healthy and then recovering physically and emotionally from whatever you've been through. Sometimes people want to talk about what's happening at the time. That might be part of the pain management. Making it real, trying to pixilate it in order to survive it. Other people should just listen and support those who want or need to share their health journeys. You might learn something, empathise or feel relief that's it "not just you".
pixilate it is so good.... thank you for this...
Your piece on trying for your second child still resonates with me to this day. It was such a lifeline when so much of the rhetoric was looking back once the box was ticked. I am so grateful for your honesty and your words reach further than you will ever know.
I really appreciate this msg thank you
Dear Emma, your words"Articulation in the moment of how life feels" resonate and youre 100% right that it's healthy to do this when, well we are healthy enough to do it right? I am so sorry to hear you're battling pain and hope your new course of treatment come through sooner and better than expected.
that is terribly kind....
Also no one owes anyone else their bad times and experiences. Men aren’t expected to so why are women? We’re so accustomed to women mining their own lives for content that when something is held back, is private for all sorts of reasons, we’re almost affronted that we don’t know it about them.
Maybe live is for living when times are shit and not everything needs to be documented or shared. In the words of Michaela Coel
“Visibility these days seems to somehow equate to success. Do not be afraid to disappear—from it, from us—for a while, and see what comes to you in the silence.”
https://open.substack.com/pub/northseafanclub/p/gotta-love-it?r=1gxz0u&utm_medium=ios
Really interesting piece Emma. It’s such a personal choice and the people that criticise Miranda Hart display an incredible lack of empathy. And it feels like another example of finding fault for the sake of it. As someone who has been through something profoundly life changing this last year, I’ve found writing a great therapy but for myself first and foremost. I considered publishing it live however I was too emotionally overwhelmed to have made myself vulnerable to the comments. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to scream to everyone who’d listen, “These awful things are happening to me!” However I also started to find that themes appeared along the journey that I needed time to make sense of. I feel in future using my uncensored journals I could write something more profoundly useful for readers who find themselves in my position. I recognise we need live stories to support each other as we go through hard things and actually there’s quite a lot of great forums for those ‘living it’ (whatever your personal ‘it’ is). However trauma voyeurs disappointed they won’t get their daily fix of me sobbing into my breakfast for two months straight can jog on and take their criticism with them. Apart from great support forums, people like Miranda who share their ‘stories so far’ offer us a generous gift when, like me last year, we genuinely can’t see a light at the end of the long tunnel of misery. Their stories allowed me to hope that there was some light, even as things kept getting darker.
I do so agree. When we’re feeling really rough, for whatever reason, often it’s enough to get through the day. Not many have the energy or the clarity of mind to be able to express what it’s like till later.
It’s so important to write and speak about experiences as you go through them (if you can). I think there’s a sort of unintentional/misplaced shame attached to speaking about situations that have no positive outcome or desired resolution, but personally I have found it very helpful. I signed up for your newsletter pre-IVF, I’m now 2x rounds in with no success but we keep going, keep chugging away with the hope that one day we will.
So brave of you to go through all that and then to put it out there. I wrote a memoir about my marriage and my husbands gambling addiction and the impact it had on our lives. To some degree it still does. Whilst being cathartic it was equally gut wrenching. I would have found writing in real time difficult . May this year be kinder to you despite the difficulties x
I totally get this. When you're 'in it's
.whatever the it is it can be a case of just getting through. Having been through stuff, 3 kids, trauma, chronic illness, scary health stuff. I just had to cover the basics, let alone have the where wirhall to reflect on it!
Thank you for writing this Emma. You give a voice to many, many women who struggle with conceiving, IVF, endometriosis and having to get up too bloody early in the morning to get everything done!
We should be kinder to those who choose to keep their struggle a secret OR shout them from the rooftops. We never know what is around the corner and when we may we’ll need encouragement and support from friends, family and strangers. Good luck to you and others who are seeking help for debilitating medical conditions or who are already feeling the pressure of Dry January!
This is such a good point. I’ve been skirting around sharing my writing about a health issue because I didn’t want it to define me. There’s that too. It feels like it could be limiting in some way and I dread pity almost as much as I dread unsolicited advice.
However, it was really really interesting to read your take on it and it may spur me on! Thank you for sharing.
I love Miranda's book, it has so many brilliant tips and pieces of advice in it. The one that I refer to every day is 'how you do one thing is how you do everything '. If I feel myself getting wound up or anxious about anything, it reminds me that I don't want to be in Miranda's words 'an angry marching woman!'